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Questions/Answers
I have answered about 1500 questions concerning faith. My answers have been approved by my religious superiors and many were published in two volumes entitled Christian Answers to your Questions. They express God’s Word and the wisdom of the Catholic Church. Here they are.
I am happy to travel life journey with you.
Gérard Desrochers, C.Ss.R., the author of these questions and answers,
The International Community, Saint Anne de Beaupre.
Why is it so complicated nowadays to have one’s child baptized?
Why wait so long to baptize a child? Why must the child be the victim of his parents’ refusal and stubbornness? It is complicated nowadays to have one’s child baptized and I would like to know why.
“The practice of baptizing children goes back to the first centuries of the Church”, wrote Hans Urs von Baltazar. “If this practice were to be discontinued, something precious would be lacking in the Church; part of God’s love for children would not be expressed. By baptizing newborn children, the Church wonderfully proclaims that God calls every person to a new life, whatever his or her age.” The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith recommends that parents have their children baptized without delay.
On October 20, 1980, that same Congregation published an instruction on the baptism of infants which recalls the necessity of baptism and the immemorial tradition with regard to infant baptism. Already in 418 AD, the Council of Carthage condemned the opposite opinion!
Until recent years, the issue of infant baptism did not exist. The infant was baptized and from the very first years of life, he or she used to learn at home about the love of God and prayer. When children began to go to school, there too they were able to develop their faith, study the Christian doctrine and grow within the Church they were members of.
Well, the society in which we grew up has changed! It is rather pagan now. Our schools are more or less non-denominational. Many parents do not practice their religion. They are not witnesses to their faith anymore. The life received at baptism is in danger of withering, even dying.
To a new problem a new solution! As a mother, the Church is worried! She reacts wisely according to the Spirit. She is responsible for the sacraments, especially baptism which makes a human being, a “child of God and partaker in the divine nature” (The Church, 40). She does not want baptism to be received in vain. But, on the other hand, she does not want to fall into elitism nor neo-jansenism (Robert Pannet).
First of all, the Church wants baptism to be well understood by those who intend to have their child baptized. She insists on preparing them to be responsible Christian parents. To have one’s child baptized is not enough! It is not sufficient to transmit Christian, supernatural, divine life! One must make sure that this very life will be able to grow. It will grow if the parents, with the help of the godparents and community, shoulder their responsibilities.
Baptism is not a magic act!
The Church does not want baptism to be postponed. As soon as the mother has recovered, the infant should be baptized.
Prospective parents are invited to inform the priest about the expected child. Then, the priest, with sisters or chosen lay people as pastoral helpers, will prepare the parents for their child’s baptism. Individual or collective meetings will be scheduled to instruct them in an interesting and pleasant way.
In so doing, the Church does not simply refuse or put off baptism, which remains necessary for salvation (Mk 16: 16). But she wants baptism to bear its fruit, to be truly the beginning of a new life in the Spirit.
Hence, baptism must be delayed if the parents are unprepared.
What then if the child was to die in the meantime...? Let us trust in the goodness of the Lord!
No, it is not complicated to have one’s child baptized! But, besides faith, common sense requires some essential Christian intentions on the part of the parents. It is not that the Church judges them. She just means to help them.
If they stubbornly refuse the necessary preparation, then of course, the child will, to a certain degree, be affected by the obstinate refusal of his parents. But, stubbornness often comes from ignorance.
Must the Beatitudes eclipse the ten Commandments?
Commandments of God: prohibitions.Beatitudes: actions.
Which are more positive?
That is strange. I have almost completely forgotten the Commandments, whereas the Beatitudes are still vivid in my mind and seem more stimulating, a better proof of my faith translated into action. What do you think?
God’s Commandments, in spite of its sometimes negative wording, make up a positive code of life and holiness. Read them again in Exodus, chapter 20 and in Deuteronomy, chapter 5.
John Paul II stresses their importance: “The Commandments are part of the covenant between God and mankind. They define the essentials of human conduct. They determine the moral value of man’s actions.”
The Beatitudes are the heart of Christ’s Gospel (Mt 5: 1-12; Lk 6: 20-23). They are the way to true happiness. Practicing them makes you happy, blissfully happy. In the Bible, the Beatitudes are followed by antitheses (Mt 5: 20-48): “You have heard... What I say to you is...”, Jesus declares, demonstrating that His preaching goes beyond the letter of the old laws. Jesus wants our outer behavior to conform to our interior dispositions. He seeks to weed out our hearts so that the good seed may grow. Do meditate on these beautiful passages of the Bible.
In so doing, you will discover the importance of both the Commandments and the Beatitudes. They are the very marrow of the Gospel. Both the Commandments and the Beatitudes are God’s word. They are not to be lived separately, but in harmony. Let us read them often to stimulate our Christian life, while keeping in mind that Jesus Himself is our model.
Will my Christian Testimony alone be enough for my children's faith to be strong ?
My husband does not practice and I am alone to testify for Christ before my children. I am anxious. Will my witness be enough?
Your anxiety is normal; it is healthy, provided it does not turn into obsession.
Love is always anxious. It is always on the lookout for what might help the beloved person. So it is with your love for your dear children. You strive to pass onto them your Christian values, but you lack support from your husband; worse than that, your efforts are countered by the bad example he gives to your children.
Through you and your unfortunate family, I see thousands of ill-fated single parent families. Separation, divorce, or death can leave only the father, or more often the mother, alone to care for the children. Then all worldly and Christian education rests solely on the remaining parent. The already heavy anxiety of earnest parents becomes a burden that the mother or the father cannot share any longer.
When the children enter into adolescence, there is the added concern of how to bring up teen-agers and how to handle their developing needs for independence, while they are besieged by so many harmful influences in the outside world.
What to do? For you, dear lady, there is the counter-testimony of your non-practicing husband.
However, can you say you are alone? Is not God active in your soul and your children’s, through you and your children? From a human point of view, you are facing a task that seems impossible. So, rely on prayer and hope. May your words and deeds be precious seeds! Don’t be overly anxious for the time of growth and fruit!
If you can, join an active association or a movement that spreads dynamism and spiritual nourishment. You will find additional strength there. Your children will discover in you the chosen woman described in the Bible (Pr 31: 10). They will like to discuss things with you. Later, after they have grown up, they will tell their children about the pearl of a mother you were. They will be touched by what you have done for them. They will pray the Lord to give them your courage and your Christian convictions.
Whether you are the only parent of the family or the only one of two parents to be able to educate the children in a Christian way, never give up hope! Since God gave you the vocation to be a mother, He bestows on you the necessary graces for your marvelous task, the mission of assuring the fulfillment of human and Christian life in your children.
What can I do when there is a physical attraction to someone who is already married?
I work with a married man who is twenty years older than me. We like to chat together. We used to respect each other. But, now we get feelings that we express physically. We have never made love, but...
I am at the same time very rational and very affectionate. My faith in Jesus Christ is the essence of my life.
As for him, he is of the same type, except that he has loose morals. On the other hand, he has convictions and he believes in God.
When we communicate, I feel good. But afterwards, I am overwhelmed by an awful sense of guilt. I feel bad about what happened. I think I am too weak and every time I resolve not to fall again.
What can I do about this guilty complex?
My work is very satisfying. I don’t want to give up my job. How can I be stronger and respect my own nature?
A young single woman
Thank you for your confidence! I congratulate you for your convictions and Christian faith.You experience in yourself the spiritual struggle which Saint Paul wrote about in his letters: “There is in us a constant struggle between the flesh and the spirit” (Ga 5: 17).
You want to remain faithful to the Lord. That is what your letter says: “My faith in Jesus Christ is the essence of my life”.
You are right not to dull your conscience, not to silence it. Since you listen to it, it acts as a spiritual barometer.
It tells you to be firm. Be strong in Jesus through prayer. Sometimes, one has to make drastic resolutions and cut... “If your hand or foot is your undoing, cut it off and throw it from you! Better to enter life maimed or crippled than be thrown with two hands and two feet into endless fire. If your eye is your downfall, gouge it out and cast it from you! Better to enter life with one eye than be thrown with both into fiery Gehenna” (Mt 18: 8-9).
Be generous in your faith. Do make a clear, firm resolution. Tell that married man about your Christian conviction. In so doing, you will also help him to be faithful to his wife.
You must sacrifice those long friendly chats that lead to familiarity. When we are sincere, we avoid the occasions of sin. We must stay away from fire if we do not want to be burned.
Our Christian faith is a treasure, but it is a treasure that “we possess in earthen vessels” (2 Co 4: 7).
To practice this doctrine is not easy, but it is possible. The Lord will help you.
Your courageous decision will bring you peace of mind. It is the only solution. You might have to find another job.
Taking medicine may sometimes be enough to cure a disease. But there are cases when the surgeon’s knife is necessary to save health and life. It is the same with the soul’s health and life.
The sooner you shift the helm the better. To beat around the bush, to delay the use of radical means is to let the illness gain ground and permit the pain to become uncontrollable and fatal.
Say with Saint Paul: “In Him who is the source of my strength I have strength for everything” (Ph 4: 13).
